Portia-TEDx-Talk

TEDx Talk – Beautiful Journey Through Federal Prison Rising from the Ashes: The Portia Louder Story of Redemption and Resilience In a …

Prepare to be moved by the profound vulnerability of Portia Louder. To listen to Portia share her incredible story in iTunes, click …

Portia was interviewed on the, Bump in the Road, hosted by Bump in the Road. “And then I walked into a federal …

Thank you so much for inviting me here tonight.  I feel like I’m back with my people, it’s an honor to be …

Related Posts ConversationsLiving In The MomentLatter Day Lives – Prison to PeaceMoral Inventory Interview with Rachel K Larsen My Sisters in Federal …

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This interview is from a woman who posted something on social media, and I happened to see it. Portia felt like she …

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Portia Louder was interviewed by Latter Day Lives and she shares her story about finding peace. Related Posts Not Shrinking!I’ll Always Love …

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Never Give Up

Finding freedom in prison I was asked to share some of my story on the Worldwide Unified FB Page. Related Posts Your …

Letting go of things

An interview transcription with Portia Louder I had the opportunity to share some of my experiences in prison recently with Paul and …

Living in Prison

Every experience has the seed of opportunity within it

I recently had the opportunity to talk about some of my experiences in prison with Kate Dalley on her radio show. My …

I had a great time visiting with Kimberly Landeen. We talked about the power that comes into your life through accountability. Here’s …

Finding My Place

I didn’t know what it would be like to come home after spending 4 and a half years in prison. I knew …

I was able to go to church with my family today and the outpouring of love that was extended to us was …

The title is a play on words.  I’m at the end of this journey and at a half way house. The word …

Only A Moment

My prison sentence began at a Federal Correctional Facility, (FCI) in Dublin, CA. The FCI houses women convicted of many different types …

Finishing the Race

Hi, this is Chad. It’s been a while since Portia’s written anything, and we wanted to provide an update. A heartfelt THANK …

Update

I was called into my case workers office 2 days ago and told that the Bureau of Prisons has decided to keep …

A New Adventure

Goodbye Waseca – Hello Victorville I lived in Minnesota, at the Waseca FCI (Federal Correctional Institution) for over 2 and a half …

A New Beginning

Last Christmas in Prison Today is Sunday, December 30, 2018, and we recently celebrated Christmas, and the year is almost over. This …

I haven’t written a blog post for a long time. My focus has been on healing and growth for the past several …

Pursuing Greatness

The Greatest Journey of My Life I woke up today and looked out a window through metal bars, and saw a fence …

Who I Am Today

Today I Found Out Who I Am I had a great visit with my family a few weeks ago. Chad came by …

First Time Together in Over 3 Years This is Chad.  Portia has been asked to take a leadership role in the treatment …

I recently received an award in treatment that was very meaningful to me. Several of the women in our program wrote me …

The Battle of Life

I participated in a competition called “The Battle of The Units”,  a while back. Every year each unit forms a  team to …

Free Woman

A letter recently arrived from a friend who is active in criminal justice reform. He mentioned that he is impressed with the …

I became a grandmother this week, what a beautiful experience! Shelby was induced on Monday morning.  I called Chad when I got …

Being in treatment here is helping me. We interact as community, and have service groups, and classes that we participate in and …

When I came to prison I was scared that I would lose the good I had left inside of me; but I …

Where I Am Today

I’ve had a hard time writing anything for the past few months but decided to reach out and share what I’ve been …

My Family

My family came to visit me last weekend.  It was amazing to see them and really emotional. My friend Macy lives in …

Bright Shining Star

I moved to the RDAP (drug and alcohol treatment) unit recently, and started attending treatment classes. I didn’t think I would like …

This is my third Christmas in prison, and I don’t really have words for how I feel. I haven’t been writing  much …

What I Value Most

My room mate asked me if there was one thing that I could change in myself right now what would it be? …

Looking Back

Looking back I can see that I have met the right people, at exactly the right time in my life. My friend …

Free From the Inside

I Stopped Worrying About Circumstances. Focusing on Inner Peace. I don’t write about the circumstances of living in prison much anymore. The …

An Indomitable Spirit

Today is my oldest daughter Shelby’s 25th birthday. She was a beautiful baby with perfect little rosebud lips and I named her …

I had the most amazing visit with two of my sisters, and my oldest daughter Shelby last weekend. My sisters and I …

Living In The Moment

Silence is hard to come by here.  I woke up at 4:30 AM, and decided to stay awake because I wanted to …

The last few months in prison have been hard for me. I don’t know why this time has been more difficult, but …

I think that I’ve spent half my life making mistakes, and the other half trying to avoid the consequences.  The pain and …

Your Chance

Often when new inmates arrive here a few of them have found my blog while researching what to expect.  If there was …

The Same Team

We all have struggles, and many of mine have been by my own doing.  But that doesn’t make them any less painful …

Choose Wisely

Recently I applied for a transfer to a prison camp.  After weighing the benefits of staying here, and praying about the decision, …

In the Trenches

I quit my photography job last week and struggled with the decision.  It’s one of my goals to live a balanced and …

Battle Cry

While waiting for lunch yesterday, a sweet black woman came up to me with a big smile on her face. She said: …

Mothers Day

When I came to prison I was overwhelmed by the circumstances I was in. The food was unhealthy; I could only talk …

This week has been filled with memories, and emotions for me. I’ve been in prison for 2 years now, and Tuesday was …

It’s Easter morning, and I’m filled with gratitude. So many things in my life are good; I have so much to be …

My Story

I was asked to write a letter and share it in a class I’m in this week, and decided to share the …

A Comeback Story

The way we deal with our struggles might be the most important thing we ever do. If we stand with courage in …

Not Shrinking!

This morning I walked around the track and felt quite emotional as I thought back to all the things I’ve been through …

The Power to Decide

I was sentenced to 7 years in Federal prison 2 years ago, and was given 8 weeks to self surrender in Dublin, …

The Future is Ours

My older kids came to see me last weekend, and we had such a good visit! After the visit, while I was …

My Life in 6 Words

Last week a woman in our support group brought an exercise to our meeting called: “Writing a memoir in 6 words.” We …

Acquitting Yourself

I was recently asked by a woman who took one of my classes if I would meet with her privately and help …

My family came to see me last weekend. Chad and the 3 younger kids flew to Minneapolis, then drove an hour and …

Letter to Myself

We recently started a self forgiveness support group at the prison, and decided to write a letter to ourselves and share it …

Beauty for Ashes

I talked to my lawyer yesterday, and got some really disappointing news.  On the 23rd of December (which is Chad’s birthday) judge …

I woke up early the morning of Christmas eve to a thick sleepy fog, and a blanket of white snow on the …

Christmas Miracle

Winter has arrived in Waseca, Minnesota. Would you believe that the temperatures gets down to 30 below zero and that the yard …

Peace in Your Heart

The days and weeks in prison are always the same, the routines have a routine. While my surroundings are constant my feelings, …

I have come to know more women at Waseca as a photographer than I probably would have any other way.  It’s not …

One More Day..

I ran into a woman on the compound a few days ago who was transferred from Dublin. She said, “I know who …

A Decided Heart

I’ve really been struggling the last few weeks. I didn’t want to write a blog post, but decided to write one anyway; …

I used to think that all the good people lived in Utah.  I traveled as a photographer and always enjoyed meeting new …

My 45th birthday birthday found me last week  in federal prison.  My sweet room mate Sonia surprised me and made tuna fish …

I’ve been at Waseca Federal prison 4 months now.   I’m finally getting comfortable here.  Being put in the SHU at Dublin …

A Reason to Continue

Some days in prison are harder than others. I could tell you all the reasons that prison is hard, but that probably …

Special Moments I used to think I had to make big contributions in life to be happy.  I thought whatever I was …

Conversations

Peaceful Conversations My children started school on Monday, and I was filled with a deep sense of sadness! the separation hurts more …

Being Re-Born

I always go to rec first thing in the morning, It’s the perfect way to start my day. Earlier this week it …

A Divine Appointment

A few days ago I was sitting in a grove of trees, when a woman approached and asked if she could join …

I fear my words will be inadequate to describe the abiding peace and happiness that I’ve felt this week. Nevertheless, I’m going …

The Little Things

Prison life is very structured, but the simplicity makes it easier to appreciate the little things. When an inmate looks up and …

A Better Day

It hasn’t been long since I wrote last but I decided to write a quick update because I’ve been feeling much better. …

The Struggle

I’ve been plagued with feelings of anger and discouragement lately, and it’s been, well, discouraging! I hesitate to share how I’ve been …

By the end of my stay at FCI Dublin I was being called over to the Lieutenants office every time I wrote …

All About Sadie

I had a video visit with my family on Sunday night and my daughter Sadie said, “Hey Mom, how come you don’t …

That title may be misleading.  It wasn’t really my fight, but it was the first that I witnessed here.  I’m working in …

I was sitting on a park bench on Monday afternoon enjoying the nice weather when a very lovely black woman came dancing …

This week in Federal prison has been really hard for me. First, a woman I didn’t recognize come up to me on …

Waseca FCI is beautiful, I’m becoming quite the prison connoisseur these days.  I’ve been in prison or jail in 6 states now, …

Well I’m in Waseca, MN now.  So much has happened in the last month and it’s hard to know where to begin.  …

The plot thickens. My mom seemed to be doing great at FCI Dublin. She taught several classes and seemed to be a …

Response From Government I wanted to give you all an update on my legal case, but I feel pretty emotional and find …

Taking Pictures

Getting new shoes in prison is the equivalent of getting a new car in the free world. Commissary put pictures up of …

One Year

I made it through my first year in Federal prison! On April 22, 2015 I said goodbye to my family and walked …

Hard Time

This has been a tough week.  Sometimes the environment in prison overwhelms me.  I was eating lunch at a table with women …

Coming to Federal prison has been different than I thought it would be. The first surprise, or disappointment that I faced was …

I went to education a couple of nights ago and stopped to talk to a clerk.  I asked her how she was …

I want to share a couple of experiences that I had this week. The first happened Monday night, I posted my video …

Portia Louder Confinement My name is Portia Louder and I’m a prisoner in the federal prison system. I am asking the court …

Rainy Day in Dublin

I went to breakfast this morning and stood in line behind the same inmate that got angry about her laundry spot being …

Dirty Laundry

It’s been pretty quiet in our unit since Christmas, until last night that is.  I’ve shared before on my blog that laundry …

I had a good week in Federal prison.  Another bus arrived this week and many of the women said that they felt …

Prison is filled with challenges but being separated from my family is so painful at times that I feel like I can’t …

Purpose in Prison

A woman I hadn’t met before approached me a few days ago and said, “Hey Portia, I just want you to know …

Children of a King

When I arrived here I was overwhelmed and scared. I didn’t know how to get a laundry slot and my two uniforms …

Mormon in Prison

There are times that prison seems like a pretty uninspiring place to be. I have been going through one of those times …

What a wonderful Christmas season! We are blessed to have the love and support of so many great people and it became …

The spirit I felt in Federal Prison on Christmas morning was beautiful. However, as the day progressed many of the Women started …

CHRISTMAS

This Christmas has been so tender for me, I hope I can share how beautiful it has been. I was on a …

Choosing Happiness

Being in prison at Christmas time is hard for many of the inmates. I have noticed more fighting and tension on the …

Being in prison is teaching me to love others in a whole new way. When I first arrived here at FCI Dublin, …

Meet Zasha

Involved in The Game This is Zasha, one of the sweet women I work with in education. As I have gotten to …

You Might Get Tackled!

The Body Alarm Experience I talked to a teacher today who said, “Nothing exciting ever happens at Dublin. It’s not like anyone …

Prison Dreams

Jessica Shares Her Dream Recently I was helping a staff member prepare for children’s day a while back and said that I …

Gratitude in Prison

The Little Things Mean A Lot The little things in prison mean so much more to me. A few days ago as …

The Photography Program I decided to write another post this week for a couple of reasons. Sometimes I just feel compelled to …

Off The Grid FBI

FBI Digging Through Our Trash I was sitting in the day room yesterday when an officer came up to me and asked …

Chad’s Feelings As fall comes to an end I look back to the past few months in amazement and with a smile …

My Dad, The American Hero

When I was a little girl my Dad was my hero. He was the smartest coolest, handsomest, strongest man in the world …

Groundhog Day, Everyday

Prison Same Thing Same Time Prison is very structured, every day we do the same thing, at the same time, with the …

Depression Loneliness There are times that depression and loneliness threaten to overtake me here.  At any moment of the day I’m surrounded …

Exploring Dublin

My First Cell Move It’s been a crazy week in Federal Prison. To start with, our case manager decided to move about …

Captured Moments

I wake up every day in prison at 5:00 am.  Breakfast is served at 5:30 and I like to start my day …

Prayers for a Friend

Depression Pain Threat Being in prison is so much harder than I thought it would be. Probably because I’m an optimist by …

New Bunkys

It’s been a busy week in federal prison.  I moved to a different cell and now have two new room mates or …

Another Day in Paradise

Last week I had to meet with an officer in the Lieutenant’s office.  He told me that I reminded him of Goldie …

THANK YOU!!

So many of our friends, neighbors and family have been an incredible help and support to our family through some difficult times. …

Today is my baby girls birthday. Eight years ago little CJ was born and our family welcomed the sweetest little peanut you’ve …

Food in jail is notoriously bad! In county jails  it’s almost inedible, getting any nutrition is certainly a challenge. When I was …

I find nicknames in prison to be very entertaining. Everyday I laugh out loud when “B” and I are talking and she …

This week I took a class called, “Explaining Your Conviction”.   The class was really good.  The idea is to be able …

A CHILD’S PRAYER

This morning as I walked around the track it seemed so dreary. It’s a dirt track that is dry and uneven with …

B’s Armenian roommate has a reputation as the hardest person in the unit that you could live with. I told her not …

The Workout Barn

Pam’s Story and Injustice of the Government When I first arrived at FCI Dublin I pretty much stayed to myself, I was …

Friends In Low Places

Bronchitis Gone; Sue Quits Choir; It’s been a good week at FCI Dublin, I finally got over my bronchitis:)  I tried a …

Zumba, New Roommate

Nervous About Getting My New Roommate I knew when Ann left we would get another roommate and I hoped for the best? …

Prison Squirrels, Smuggling and Bartering for Food in Prison – What a Joy. Well, I’m sure the pictures make Federal Prison look …

Goodbye Annie

Saying Goodbye to My First Roommate – Annie This morning Karin and I walked our roommate Ann to the front gate to …

Pictures

Related Posts Humanity in Federal PrisonUpdateHUMILIATION AND REDEMPTIONWhat I Value Most Latter Day Lives – Prison to PeaceZumba, New RoommateA New AdventurePursuing …

Bullies

Bullying in Prison is Hard for Me to Tolerate Some things go on in Federal Prison that is hard for me to …

Favorite Place on Earth … Lake Powell The last 2 weeks have been challenging for me. Chad and the kids went to …

What I Miss Most

Meeting Courtney and Things I Miss the Most in Prison It’s been a pretty good week.  I finally received my garments and …

Memorial Day, Remembering Dad My first Memorial Day in Federal Prison, like most days, started at 4:00 am.  My boss came back …

New Job

Finding Strength and Healing I knew that I would be cut off from the outside world when I came to prison.  I …

1 Month

Surrendering to FCI Dublin Federal Prison I self-surrendered almost a month ago to FCI Dublin federal prison.  It is so much different …

Say Goodbye

Saying Goodbye Is the Hardest Thing I’ve Had to Do. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye; I didn’t realize …

Sentence Part 2

Going to Jail, But Did NOT Expect This! My jail sentence continued. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks as I looked …

The Sentence

Being w/ Family – The Best Feeling Ever! After I plead guilty and was released from custody Chad took me home to …

The Guilty Plea

First, The Mental Evaluation The order signed by judge Wells put me in jail for a mental evaluation and said that I …