Last Christmas in Prison

Today is Sunday, December 30, 2018, and we recently celebrated Christmas, and the year is almost over. This was the last Christmas I will spend in prison. I prayed to our Father in heaven that He would allow me to keep the experiences I’ve had close to my heart when I leave. I don’t ever want to forget the women I’ve met, the love and compassion we’ve shared, or the person I’ve become.

I will be flying to Victorville California on January 15th, where I will serve the remainder of my sentence in a camp. I don’t know my exact out date yet, I will find that out when I get to California but I could be released anytime after February 2nd; but it will probably be sometime in the Spring and Spring is my favorite season! It will be a brand new beginning.

I get excited when I think about going to a movie with Chad, or holding his hand while we drive anywhere together. I want to walk to the park with CJ and listen to everything she has to say. I can’t wait to go to lunch with Jace and laugh and share our stories. I’m ready to get to know Sadie all over again. Cheering Jackson on at whatever he’s involved in is one of my favorite things to do. Shelby and I have become close friends, and I just want to hang out with her.

I love my new grandson Max so much I can hardly stand it! I called my sister Kira yesterday and wished her a happy birthday, my family is so enthusiastic, I can’t wait to see them again. I have new hopes and dreams, and I’m looking forward to what comes next.

I’ve grown up in prison. I’m not angry anymore, not even at myself. I have learned that life is made up of many little choices with a few big ones sprinkled in. Choosing how to respond to what’s happening to me has changed my life. In the past, I was ruled by my emotions. Now I know that suffering is unavoidable and growing through suffering is a choice. I don’t think I really appreciated a sunset before I came to prison, I was too busy. I’ve been able to laugh at silly jokes with women who are burdened with grief, and prayed many times as my life depended on it.

I spent one night crying with a woman who was haunted by abuse from her past, I felt her pain that night deep in my soul. We share each other’s stories here, and our burdens became lighter. We don’t use the internet or spend any money to have these experiences, maybe we are the lucky ones? I love my community and friends at home, and want everyone to know what I know, and see what I see. One of my close friends shared something with me today that I want to share with you. “It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” It’s time to begin a new journey, and I thank you all for following along:)

Love Portia